Picture your last first date. Were you nervous? Were you anxious? Or excited?
Was your date planned for a restaurant for dinner or cocktails? Did you feel like you needed a drink to loosen up or to calm your nerves?
If so, you’re not alone! So many single people like to connect over happy hour and cocktails! It’s totally an appropriate first date and exciting too!
I’ve often times met up with a first date over drinks, happy hour, or met at a group event with friends that involved drinking, so please don’t think I am attacking the choice to drink as you meet new people.
That’s not the point of this post, so keep reading; we are about to present you with an idea I’d like you to keep in the back of your mind.
In my experience, I have chosen to have drinks more often than I thought was healthy for me to keep up on all of my big goals for a number of reasons. And believe me, they are BIG GOALS! From work, to family, and even dating, my goals are top priority right now. And as Meghann Conter described in a recent podcast interview, Gray Area Drinking, she described justifying consuming drinks 5 or 6 nights per week because of work functions. And as a social lubricant. And I appreciate her condor and her authentic approach to the transformation she chose in her life!
Our conversation hit home for me because as I have been single this part year, I have encountered quite a few inauthentic people and decided to create a new community around me. What I spent time thinking about since Meghann and I talked was how to become even more authentic as I date in Denver.
I took on a personal challenge to not drink for 90 days so that I could see clearly who it was that was across the table from me on dates, in business, or even in family events. I took this personal challenge so that I could show up as my most authentic self and I believed that alcohol was numbing my spark, spirit, and vulnerability when I was dating this past year.
May I remind you, I am not judging consuming alcohol and I won’t say to anyone that they need to abstain from drinking or they must join me on this personal challenge. I only invite you to think about how you are showing up authentically if you are dating with alcohol involved and continue to find “crash and burn” relationships as Sharon Smith described in her interview, Setting Intentions and Core Values.
It may be because you aren’t picking up on early signs that your date has core values that don’t match up with your own, and alcohol may be affecting the decisions you make by rushing into a toxic relationship or two.
Since making this personal commitment, I have been sleeping better, eating better, and have returned to regular Jiu-Jitsu classes and workouts at Fit Life Champions! As far as dating is concerned, making this personal commitment has improved my decisions and has opened up my eyes to seeing the authenticity and vulnerability of my partner across the table from me!
Gain the Confidence and Skills you need to Authentically Date in Denver with a one of a kind live event hosted by local Love and Dating Coach, Jessica Smith, and Dave Glaser, the Host of The Believe Be Real Be Bold Podcast for Authentic Dating.
Join us for a mingling cocktail hour, question and answer session, and panel of local experts built to help you navigate the muddy waters of the Denver dating scene! By the end of the night, you will have the tools you need to set healthy boundaries, manage expectations, and authentically date in Denver!
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For the original Ted Talk, by Jolene Park, which inspired Meghann to make her transformation, please watch the YouTube video below!