On a special episode of the podcast, we aimed at introducing you to the eight types of guys you wouldn’t want to date. In modern dating, you will come across a variety of people no matter which way you choose to meet people; online, organically, through a matchmaker and more!
In no particular order, here are the 8 types of guys you want to be on the lookout for when dating in the swipe right culture.
The Boring Guy– You may feel like there is zero chemistry with this guy. There may be very little excitement when he plans dates and it may be that he is legitimately not interested in putting in the effort. However, he shows just enough interest to keep you chatting through meaningless and humdrum texts.
The Broke Guy– I’ve spoken to many women about modern dating and they say how much money a guy makes doesn’t matter. But they also say there are only a certain number of times they will pay, or settle for Netflix nights in with only home cooked meals, or hikes they go on together before their patience wears thin. The broke guy may forget his wallet a few times or make up little lies about his card was stolen or the bank made a mistake. I think our community of authentic daters believe in equanimity, they earn their own money, support themselves, but politeness and honesty go a long way in building a strong foundation for a relationship!
The Mixed Signals Guy– You never know where you stand with this one and your gut instincts will be all lit up because of it. One day hot and another cold. He could ghost you this week and resurface like a submarine the next. He may not necessarily be seeing more women than just you but beware because the mixed signals guy is inconsistent in every area of his life. The warning signs you ignore in the beginning will be what ends the relationship down the road.
The “I’m Too Busy” Guy– This guy has so many priorities in his life that he rarely has time for you for a text, phone call, or to make plans with you unless it’s on short notice. You may feel like his back up plan but he never actually communicates ahead of time why he’s so unavailable. Don’t get him confused with the Mixed Signals guy, because this guy will rarely initiate until the last minute to make plans with you.
The Player– This guy’s games are so obvious that you can almost predict what’s coming next; canceled plans, I was out with a friend, etc. But for some reason your attachment style confuses his attention for chemistry, feelings, and authenticity. Often times, you will learn life’s greatest lessons from dating this guy.
The Late Night Texter– He’s otherwise known as the booty call guy. One of the worst guys to come across in modern dating because he has very little respect for himself and others, especially you. When we speak of boundaries on the podcast, it’s to ensure guys like this don’t have access to what we believe is the best part of ourselves.
The Nice Guy– for the first few months, this guy meets every single one of your needs and seems to have his life together in every way. However, what first triggers your intuition that there is more than meets the eye is how he won’t share needs of his own. He will always be available for you and often shows up with unexpected gifts, pays for your friends drinks/meals but they are laced manipulation, expectations, and covert contracts.
In a recent episode of the podcast, Geoff Laughton, from Your Relationship Architect, and I discuss this guy at length an how it’s never too late to help a Nice Guy find his backbone. His main motivation is to not upset you but once he learns that your indifference is worse than your anger, he will start to man up. It takes a lot of work but we assure you that there is a man of integrity behind the insecurity.
The final guy on our list is The Narcissist– This term gets thrown around loosely (by men AND women) now a days and we want to ensure that we aren’t lumping everyone else on this lift into this group.
According to Amir Levine in the book Attached, only about 5% of the popular is narcissistic, sociopathic, or psychotic so to generalize that everyone you’ve dated in the past is narcissistic or psycho is heading down a slippery slope.
However, the best portrayal of a narcissist I’ve seen in the past few years comes from a movie called He’s Just Not that into You. Maybe you’ve seen it.
Bradley Cooper’s character meets Scarlett Johansons character in a super market, let’s her go ahead of him in line, and she ends up winning a contest. They exchange minor details about their life and that gives him the chance to follow up later. Cooper’s character leads her to believe that he is unhappily married, plays the victim role, and becomes involved with her intimately.
The above scenario does not make him a narcissist but more so manipulative. It’s when his wife calls him out for smoking cigarettes, he begins to lie to deflect all personal responsibility, and turns it back on her. The lies continue to come one after another to cover up all of his behavior including the infidelity.
Watch the video below to discover the true signs of a narcissist.
I am sure that you’ve encountered one or possible more of these types of men and you are frustrated with repeating the same dates over and over again. If so, I’d welcome you to join our weekly Private Support Group free for a week!
We host group support calls each week to share and learn with others that have encountered similar men to all of those listed above! We also dig deep into your Enneagram type, attachment styles, and love languages.
It’s free to join for a week and then only $37 per month after that, click here to get more details on how to join other people just like you that want begin their healing now.