Have you ever wanted to tell your social media crush that you are interested and don’t know how to do that with authenticity?
After almost three years of hosting the podcast and coaching singles to attract their ideal relationship, I’ve uncovered the five best ways to slide up into your crush’s direct messages and lay them out below.
So, you’ve come across a person on social media that you would like to get to know better with romance in mind. Realistically, in 2021, it’s becoming more and more common to meet someone online, virtually, or through social media. The world is changing and there’s no reason to shy away from taking a chance by reaching out authentically!
Step 1: Follow and Like One Picture
Since you’re active on social media, I can imagine you’ve been followed and unfollowed by more bots than you can count. They come in hot and heavy by following your account (if it’s public) and they like three pictures at minimum. You are not a bot and you certainly don’t want to be confused with one so stick to liking only one of their photos that stands out to you.
Step 2: Comment on One thing that Resonates with You
Being too interested on social media may have your crush confusing you for a bot and coming on too strong can give off the wrong impression. That being said, I recommend that you give it a few days and come back to their profile and either comment on a photo you like or a “story” that they share.
This may sound like, “Thank you for sharing this! It really stood out to me/resonated with me/meant something to me.”
That is your initial chance to show that you’re interested, show a mutual shared interest in their activities, and to uncover their level of interest. If they follow or comment back, they at least have taken notice of your interaction. This may seem basic and yet it is the most important step.
You will want to take things slow when connecting on social media so that you can start off on the right foot with someone who you may have met once out in public or stumbled across their profile on your favorite social media platform.
You can find out two very important things from step number two which are discovering if they are frequently active and engaging with their community online. The second thing you may discover is that they are curious about who has been showing interest in their account.
At this point, that’s most likely where they are at on their end… simply just curious in who you might be on the other side of your account.
Step 3: Be Honest and Upfront
When you make that first move to slide up into their DMs, be honest and upfront about why you’re reaching out to them. It will at the very least be flattering and if they respond with anything less than positive, would you really want to spend your valuable time with someone so negative?
You could start with something like this, “Hey! I came across your photo/video/post the other day and it really caught my attention! I feel a similar way about the things you posted. Anyway, just wanted to reach out and introduce myself and invite you to coffee/drink/walk in the park soon. Are you available for that kind of connection?”
If you’re anything like me, that may make you nervous to even think about taking the leap and reaching out to your crush or someone you met through social media. At this moment, you have a choice to make.
You could spend all your time thinking and planning while you ruminate about the outcome or you can take action. The beauty of social media is that you’ve got nothing to lose by taking a chance… who knows, you may connect with someone you find to be very authentic and aligned with your values!
Step 4: Suggest the Next Step on Your Terms
Meeting a stranger you met on the internet is different than it was ten years ago; at least the stigma has been removed. However, safety is still priority number one when dating in any era so be sure to share with someone you trust where you’re going, when, and with whom.
If they reach back out to your first message, GREAT! Consider that a big win! If they are single, available, and showing genuine interest or enthusiasm, then now’s the time to strike while the iron is hot.
At this time, suggest that they connect with you over the phone first to set up details, give them your number, and clear next step instructions that may sound like, “Give me a call soon” or “Shoot me a text” to set it up!
Step 5: Use Messaging for Logistics Only
Messaging before a first date is for setting up the details of the first date only. When you communicate a lot in between the time they say yes and the date, you remove a lot of the mystery or anticipation that builds up before a first date.
A confirmation text the day before is totally acceptable as you want to double check that you are both still available and interested in meeting up.
Now that you’ve got a plan of action to take to asking out your Instagram or Facebook crush, it’s time to take action!
If you’re looking for more support while on your journey through singlehood, I invite you to check out our group coaching program for women that meets via zoom every Tuesday evening at 7 pm mst.
It’s free to join for a week and then only $37 per month after that, click here to get more details on how to join other people just like you that want begin their healing now.