Let me start off this blog with saying that knowing, understand, communicating, and upholding your boundaries is a life long journey. I have set and reestablished my boundaries countless time while being single AND in a relationship while upsetting my world and that of others.
Recently, I listened to Terri Cole, psychotherapist and author of Boundary Boss, as she was interviewed on a couple of different of my favorite podcasts and many things stood out at me but mostly the discussion about boundaries. Cole described three types of boundaries that show up in our lives; porous, healthy, and rigid.
This part of the conversation stood out at me because I’ve experienced all three types of boundaries. Previously when I was being a nice “Nice Guy”, I had porous boundaries and would bend over backwards to meet the needs of others and put myself second.
As boundaries relate to my Enneagram Challenger personality type, I have had periods of time in my life with very rigid boundaries. And while exploring a new partnership I have come to understand what healthy boundaries look like for me. Tune into the full story on this week’s podcast episode below.
So the old saying goes that communication is the most important thing in relationship. I agree wholeheartedly. Effectively communicating boundaries can take you to a deeper layer in relationships. The Enneagram, along with attachment theory and leadership tools, is a helpful tool to find self-awareness when it comes to boundaries.
To discover this level of self-awareness, you can ask yourself these three questions and perhaps journal on them.
1. How have I communicate in my boundaries in the past?
2. How do I want to communicate my boundaries now?
3. How do I want to respond when others communicate their boundaries with me?
Those three questions have opened up my eyes when it comes to understanding what my own boundaries. Would you rather watch the YouTube video? Subscribe to our channel below now!
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